/ · John S. Farmer’s Canting Songs and Slang Rhymes
A Plank-Bed Ballad
A Plank-Bed Ballad
1888
By “DAGONET” (G. R. SIMS) in Referee, 12 Feb..
I
Understand, if you please, I’m a travelling thief,
The gonophs all call me the gypsy;
1 boys
By the rattler I ride when I’ve taken my brief,
2 rail; ticket
And I sling on my back an old kipsey.
3 basket
II
If I pipe a good chat, why, I touch for the wedge,
4 see; horse; go for; silver plate
But I’m not a “particular” robber;
I smug any snowy I see on the hedge,
5 steal; linen
And I ain’t above daisies and clobber.
6 boots; clothes
III
One day I’d a spree with two firms in my brigh,
7 £5 notes; pocket
And a toy and a tackle—both red ’uns;
8 watch; chain; gold
And a spark prop a pal (a good screwsman) and I
9 diamond pin
Had touched for in working two dead ’uns.
IV
I was taking a ducat to get back to town
10 ticket
(I had come by the rattler to Dover),
When I saw as a reeler was roasting me brown,
11 detective; closely scanning me
And he rapped, “I shall just turn you over.”
12 said; search you
V
I guyed, but the reeler he gave me hot beef,
13 ran; tea; chased me
And a scuff came about me and hollered;
I pulled out a chive, but I soon came to grief,
14 knife
And with screws and a james I was collared.
15 burglars tools; caught
VI
I was fullied, and then got three stretch for the job,
16 remanded; years
And my trip—cuss the day as I seen her—
17 mistress
She sold off my home to some pals in her mob,
18 friends; set
For a couple of foont and ten deener.
19 £5 notes; shillings
VII
Oh, donnys and omees, what gives me the spur,
20 girl; fellows
Is, I’m told by a mug (he tells whoppers),
21 man
That I ought to have greased to have kept out of stir
22 bribed
The dukes of the narks and the coppers.
23 hands; detectives; police
Notes
G. R. Sims (“Dagonet”) needs little introduction to present-day
readers. Born in London in 1847, he was educated at Harwell College,
and afterwards at Bonn. He joined the staff of Fun on the death
of Tom Hood the younger in 1874, and The Weekly Despatch the
same year. Since 1877 he has been a contributor to The Referee
under the pseudonym of “Dagonet”. A voluminous miscellaneous writer,
dramatist, poet, and novelist, M. Sims shows yet no diminution of his
versatility and power.
Taken from
Musa Pedestris,
Three Centuries of Canting Songs and Slang Rhymes
[1536―1896], collected and annotated by John S. Farmer.
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