Treasury

.—I. Prints, are those newspapers under the pay of the Minister for the time being. For which consideration the editors applaud and attempt to justify every measure of government indiscriminately, reprobate all reform of abuses, every amendment of the constitution, and abuse all refomers as levellers, and every innovator as a traitor to his country.

II. Bench,—is the seat on the right hand of the Speaker in the House, on which are arranged in order, in regular seniority of corruption, those members who have the singular good fortune always to coincide with the Minister in all his measures, whether it be to overawe the people of this land who wish a reform, by the introduction of foreign troops, or whether is be to suspend the Habeas Corpus Act.

3. Letters,—are strong, admonitory, and argumentative epistles, in favour of any particular bill the minister wishes to pass the house, or against any bill he wishes to have negatived. It was the custom formerly to inclose in these letters a few scores of lottery tickets; but the arguments are now-a days penned in Algebraical and arithmetical symbols, which afford a decided and mathematical proof of the arguments proposed in the given subject. Nothing indeed can exceed the beauty and admirable conciseness of these Algebraic equations, which I am told are soemtiems sent with blank cheques on the bank of England, to be filled up at the discretion of the dominus respondens! I shall subjoin two Algebraic equations by way of illustration, with an explanation appended.

Voting for Suspension of Habeas Corpus Act, plus a Speech, is equal to 50 Lottery Tickets, plus a Pension, minus a Small Drawback when Pitt goes out of place.

Voting for the Address, plus a Good Speech Abusing the French, minus Abusing the Ministers of the England Government, is equal to a Blank Cheque on the Bank of England, plus a Peerage, minus a Good Estate to it, but plus the Promise of one, multiplied by Royal Smiles.

IV. The Treasury is a large spacious apartment, filled with guineas, which the minister for the time being, and his friends and the friends to Church and king have constant access to, whether it be to purchase perjury against an innocent friend to liberty, or whether it be to gain over an intractable, doubtful or unstaunch jury.